Mr. Determination

He gets a little better everyday. A little stronger, a little sassier, a little clearer. One of his most important qualities right now is his positivity and drive. If you come to visit him, he will recite his mantra..."I am a fighter...I am going to fight this, and I am going to have quality of life...I may need assistance, but I will work so I am not a burden on my family." And as I may have mentioned before, he LOVES his physical therapy. It makes him feel so accomplished. He always wants to work to get stronger...I mean always! Here is where the lack of patience can come into play.

When we got him to the Dr.'s office yesterday, he came out of the transport van, and we rolled him into the tiny waiting room, and I sat on one side, and my Mom sat down on the other. Not 45 seconds went by, and he started in..."I can't believe I am just sitting here. I am not going to get to do physical therapy today. I am just wasting time here when I could be doing something to get stronger..." I had to get his attention and try and explain that we were early for our appointment time, and we just have to wait. Even as he is sitting in his chair, or laying in bed in the evening, he has to have his "stress bus" to squeeze.

Today, when my Mom came back from lunch, she parked and started to walk in, when she noticed my Dad coming outside by himself. She said he was coming down the slight incline from the front door. Now, this is all fine and well, except after about 12 feet of slight incline, you get to the driveway, which if you turn right, it jumps to about a 45 degree slope. I am not sure that my Dad has the capacity to know how to control the chair, and understand the laws of physics. When I talked to him about the incident, he said my Mom was over reacting...Which is entirely possible (she has been known to do that from time to time), but it is hard to tell who is the better judge of reality anymore.

Either way, we have put in the file that he needs to be accompanied by friends or family if he is to go outside. He is very headstrong, and wants to do it himself (always has), and I don't want to discourage any of this, but we have to try and help him learn to understand better so he doesn't get in over his head.

I am looking forward to spending time with him this weekend. I usually only see him in the evenings because I am working. And on the other hand, my Mom is spending too much time with him. She is just trying to make him happy, but she needs to take some time for herself, and let him get used to not having her fulfill every whim. So, I told her she needs to take some time for herself this weekend when I can be with him, and when he has visitors. So, if you come to visit, and my Mom or I leave you to visit him, it is so that we can get a little time to ourselves.

My Mom and I talked a lot tonight about how this is still all new to all of us. It really has been only 2 weeks today since his surgery. It is hard to get used to this "new normal" as I call it, but we learn a little more each day, just like my Dad.

I did have a talk with my Dad tonight about his attention span. I told him that I know he wants to go home, and that when he does, we will have a nurse to help us and a physical therapist to come help him to be strong, but that he is going to get very bored at home. There is so much activity at the nursing facility...New people, new noises, new stimulation. At home, he will have his big TV with Cox Cable (not that racket DirectTV), but it is just going to be the same 4 people most of the time...He looked at me and said, "yah, I can see that." So, I told him to enjoy all of this activity while it lasts...:)

So, we are so very lucky that my Dad has been able to retain so much of himself with all he has gone through in the past 2 weeks. It almost makes it harder when he does something so out of character, like his impatience, or his crying spells. We are just learning how to get used to handling all of this.

He is starting to really like having new visitors. But, when he has too many, it can overwhelm him a little. So, if you are so inclined, please feel free to come down and see him. If you are interested, send me an email and I can get you the address. Please be aware he has physical therapy every day (except Sunday), and it is usually in the late morning, but the time can vary. Also, he will probably want to go outside for a cigar.

I didn't get to spend as much time tonight with him as I usually do. So, nothing really funny happened. I am sure I will have many more entertaining stories after my day with him tomorrow!:)

Have a wonderful weekend everyone, and lots of love to all.