Digging deep...

Well, yesterday was the Doppler test for Dad, and the Thanksgiving celebration at Magnolia.

The Doppler ultrasound test went ok, it caused Dad some pain when they used the wand on a few parts of his legs. I am not sure what the official results are, but Mom said that they found his circulation was a little slow in the leg most effected by Polio...Big shocker there.

The dinner was pretty nice. They set up tables throughout Magnolia, and there were quite a few guests who came to spend a nice evening dinner with the residents. The food wasn't too bad, and they had live piano playing in two of the rooms. It was a little hectic, but quite enjoyable. Dad had a bit of a hard time because he originally wanted to sit outside, and then he got too cold, and by that time, all the tables were full. So, Mom, Dad and I sat in his room and squeezed in around his little bed table and ate together. Well, Mom and I ate, and Dad didn't. But it was nice to be together and be grateful for all our blessings.

Today was a bit of an ordeal. I met Dad down at the Cancer Center, and when the transportation person arrived with Dad, he had a silver dollar-sized bruise on his shoulder near his neck, and the skin was torn. I know as Dad gets older, his skin is thinner, but this was awful. It didn't seem to bother him much, but it just looks ghastly. From what I can tell, the guy that transported him either tethered him in wrong or too tight. I had the nurses make sure they cleaned it out and put a bandage on it. It just breaks my heart bedause I feel like if I had more time I could have prevented it....Not sure how, but I must have been able to do something to protect him.

And then at the appointment with Dr. Zu, Dad's temperature was 96.1 degrees! I asked the doctor again (I had asked him last appointment) why he is so cold, and he said "well, I can check his thyroid." When I got back to my computer, I looked up what hypothyroidism can cause...And my heart sank. It can cause low body temperature, lack of appetite, extreme drowsiness and fatigue, and even neurological problems like pins and needles and nerve pain...All of which Dad has been experiencing for the past few months. I am so frustrated...I have been asking the nurses and the doctors for weeks why he is experiencing these symptoms, and all I got was "I don't know." Including Dr. Zu. I am hopeful that it is his thyroid, because that can be treated with a pill and should solve or improve a majority of his problems. I am just heartbroken that he has had to endure being so cold, and not enjoy eating, and so drowsy that he missed out on visits with Jay, Paula, Lynn, Jay, Stacy, Jan, Jerry, Mary, Dennis and more.

It just makes me realize that no one, not even the doctors, are focused on my Dad. They do the protocol, what they are supposed to do...Dad is just a number. I don't know why I thought things were different, but it just reminds me that I have to stay on top of them all and push and fight, and make sure they don't write my Dad off. I am so sick of hearing "oh, that is just how the disease progresses." That may be the case, but that is not an excuse not to do everything possible to make whatever time he has left, a month, 6 months, 6 years or 60 years, worth living. This whole thyroid thing makes me feel like I have let him down somehow because I didn't push more. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I have to take that in and remember so that I do my best not to let anything like that happen again.

We go for his MRI on Tuesday, and that will tell us a lot. And you can bet, no matter what it says, I will continue to fight for my Dad.

Have a great weekend...Love to all.