Rest in Peace my little beloved brown and white boy...

My glorious little dog Tucker passed away in my arms this morning. He had a very bad night, and I was getting ready to take him to be put down. I had made an appointment for Wednesday, not knowing he would go downhill so fast. But waiting for Mom to come get me, he died in my arms, which is how it should have been.

So, after 3,876 days on this earth, my little guy is somewhere, playing and running through the grass in and endless field with all of his favorite toys and not having to share them with anyone.

I got Tucker when he was 10 weeks old. I was married and had always wanted a Jack Russell Terrier. When we saw this little, tiny brown and white puppy, we had to take a look. We were babysitting my friend's little girl (who is now 15), and when we got in the little room, he ran right to Haely and sat in her lap. I was sold.

I named him Tucker, and I really can't tell you why. We treated him like a child, and because of that, he acted like a person. He had feelings and opinions, and a vocabulary of about 50 words. He drove me crazy because he would bark, but he really thought he was talking, and couldn't figure out why we couldn't understand him. He really thought he was a person, and when we got Newman, he was always a little skeptical of this "dog" we brought home. I always said that Newman was my dog and Tucker was my 2-year old child.

He was sold to us as an unregistered Jack Russell. Then he grew into this greyhound shaped, long-legged, deer-like dog. I used to get into arguements with people at the dog park, because they would ask me what he was, and when I said "Jack Russel" they would say, "no he isn't." But he was all Jack Russell. Inquisitive, aware, and incredibly intelligent. I learned so much about myself from him...From the little things, like I always say "alright" before I say goodbye to someone on the phone, to the last thing I do in the morning is put on my shoes...He knew these patterns and would get up when either of these things happened because he knew something was about to happen....To the big things, like the divorce and enduring his tremendous illness November, '06-April of '07...I know that if I had not experienced that difficult time, all of the things going on right now would have simply crushed me. But, that experience helped me to be patient, ask lots of questions, look for solutions, and most importantly, that it is ok to cry.

I will miss the way he used to go crazy for my hair clips and for the duck toy that goes "quack-quack-quack-quack." I will miss the way he would sit on the stairs with his butt one step up from his front paws...He looked like a gargoyle. I will miss the way he would snuggle his head on my chest if you blew on his face while holding him. I will miss how he would come and paw at the covers when he was cold and wanted to get under them. I will miss how he would pull all the stuffing out of his toys, and would still love to carry around the empty shell. I will miss how he loved to play fetch, and would go around and greet all the humans at the dog park before playing with the dogs.

I will always be thankful to you Tucker. You have been so special to me, and you have helped to get me through some pretty hard times. And provided some pretty hard times for us to get through together. I am so sorry you had to suffer at the end. As much as I knew it was coming, it just came so fast. I am so grateful to have been a part of your wonderful little life.

Bless you sweet puppy. I will miss you...A little piece of my heart accompanies you to your next destination.