Back to the grind...

Sorry no post on Sunday or Monday. I was away from work for 3 whole days, and I just couldn't bring myself to turn the computer on. I know...Lame excuse...

I did get to spend time with Dad on Sunday and Monday. Monday was the best day. We got him up in the chair, and he and I went out into the patio, and he had a smoke, and we tried playing a little blackjack. It was fun, but he just doesn't have the context of numbers. He just didn't understand the relationship of the cards to 21. It makes me sad because that was one of his favorite games. But, regardless, we had fun. Then we went in and buzzed the hair on his head again, and trimmed up everything, and then he had his shower. He always likes his shower days.

Our friend Jim came by, and stayed for a few minutes, but Dad had a busy day outside with me, and the shower, it all just took any energy he had. He was exhausted.

My Mom has come down with a cold, so she left a little early tonight so she could go home and get some rest. Dad and I just talked for awhile. We talked about the family, and reminisced about when he was a child. It is kind of weird, he remembers some things so perfectly clear (like when his uncles Clarence and David got into a fist fight on Christmas), but it took me a few times explaining that Clarence and David were his father's brothers. I guess that goes back to that part of his brain that does the organizing being effected, whereas his memory is still pretty good.

He asked me questions about brain tumors and what they are and where the come from. I wish I had answers for him. I mourn the way life used to be for all of us every day. I was so stressed then...And now I look back and think "what did I ever have to stress about?" When I have a sad moment, I think about the coulda-shoulda-wouldas, and regret the opportunities that I have lost by procrastinating, or thinking "maybe next time."

But then I realize how lucky I am...How lucky we all are. Although there is a lot of bad going on, there is so much to be thankful for. And there is hope...It may not be the hope I wish for, but there is hope. It is just a matter of taking our lemons, and making lemonade. My Dad hates lemonade, by the way. But it is a little harder to make a decent milkshake out of sour milk...:)

Bottom line is, don't let life get in the way of living. Make time for those you love, do the things you want to do with them, when you want to do them. Because you just never know what is going to happen...Don't let a moment pass to tell them you love them, or that you are proud of them, or how special they are to you.

I did find a hand held blackjack game at Target. I hope to show Dad how to use it so that he is comfortable. Just something for him to use to pass the time. I asked Dad if he would like me to write him some stories to read, and he said yes. I asked what he wanted to read about, and he said, "the future...Your future. What you want in life." I told him, "if I only knew..."

His longtime friend Rip came by today. My Dad sure loves visitors, but he says that Rip always makes him laugh. They go back many years. He loves to hear all of Rip's stories, I think he lives vicariously through them.

Sorry this was such an emotional post...Sometimes I just gotta let it out...Thanks for reading, and hopefully taking it to heart in your life.

Love to all.