Another tough day...

Today was a tough day for Dad all around. When my Mom arrived this afternoon, she was greeted halfway down the long hallway to my Dad yelling at the top of his lungs. He was very agitated and upset and was hollering to "get out of here," and he "wasn't going to take it anymore..." When Mom rounded the corner into his room, one of the sweet CNA's was in the room, holding Dad's hand and stroking his arm, and speaking softly to him, trying to calm him down. Mom said he was so loud and demanding that Edward, the very quiet man next to him was in his wheelchair holding his head and crying.

Mom asked the nurse to give him something to calm him down and so they gave him an Ativan. By the time I got there at about 6:30, he was calm, but surprisingly, not at all tired or loopy, which when he had those bouts of severe agitation in Arbor Hills right after his surgery, a dose of Ativan would put him out for several hours.

Not sure what set him off. The CNA that was trying to calm him down came back in while I was there, and she asked him if he was feeling better, and he said yes, and apologized and thanked her for being there. So, he was aware of what he did, but I am not sure why he did it. At one point, Dad told me that he needed money to pay the girls for taking such good care of him...This is a common request, and I tell him time and again that they cannot accept money from him, or they will get fired. He argues with me every time, and I try to appease him by telling him I will bring a cake or other pastry in each week as a thank you to the staff. Apparently that is not good enough. Funny thing is, when I asked him today why he was so upset earlier in the afternoon, he said that he wanted out because he got such poor care and no one gave a damn...When I questioned why he wanted to give money to those who didn't give a damn, he looked at me like I asked him in French...He is just so confused.

On top of this, we found out that one of my Dad's great friends passed away this morning. My Dad, his friend Jack and Glenn would go to Hooter's once a month for lunch. Glenn was an amazing man and very dear to my Dad. They were all very close and truly enjoyed each other's company. Glenn and his wife Nan came to visit Dad quite often when he was at Arbor Hills, and Nan has been a tremendous comfort with her support and emails throughout all of this. She used to be a nurse and has provided a lot of background on all of these medical terms and been a pillar of support. Glenn will be missed tremendously by us all.

After Dad's afternoon, I probably would have chosen to wait to tell him about Glenn, but Mom told him before I got there, after he calmed down from his tantrum. She said he took it well initially. When I walked in, Mom had stepped out for a minute, and when I said "hi Dad" he said "I am so glad you are here, I need your help..." I said "with what Dad?" and he said "Glenn died" and he started to cry. We talked a lot about Glenn and how special he was, and he was very concerned about Nan. He wanted me to call her right then so he could talk to her. I told him that I am sure she did not want to talk tonight, and maybe we could call her in few days. He truly loved Glenn and still loves Nan so much.

So, needless to say, it was a bad day all around. It is so hard to deal with the good days, and days like this are almost unbearable emotionally all around. My heart goes out to Nan, and so thankful to her for her support and for their visits to Dad.

Love to all.