I am sure it is quite a shock after reading Thursday's blog. Dad took a turn for the worse on Friday morning. He began having seizures and required extreme sedation to calm them. And yesterday, at approximately 1:00 p.m., Dad peacefully left this Earth, free from the pain and suffering. He has finally been freed of the bonds of illness and imperfection.
My Aunt and I were with him...He waited for me. I got there, and within about 5 minutes, he took his last, peaceful breath.
I think my Aunt and I both were struggling with his passing beforehand. I knew I didn't want him to be alone, but I was so afraid of the moment and what it would bring. I should have known better...As always, my Dad knew what he was doing and took care of us as he always has.
My Mom is taking it hard, as you can imagine. On top of the awful, unfathomable situation of losing your lifelong soul mate, she is struggling with the complications of the stroke. She completely understands what has happened, she is crushed and heartbroken, and having difficulty determining how she will go on without him. She is having trouble controlling her emotions...I sort of liken it to a television rapidly switching channels. She is able to stay on the same topic, but one moment she is upset that he is gone, the next she really wants some coffee, the next she is worried about how she is going to go on without him, the next she is mad at him for leaving without her, and the next she is looking forward to planning the memorial together. While all of these are understandable, and acceptable emotions, she will experience these emotions consecutively and separately within the span of a minute or two. Bless her heart.
I am doing fairly well. As I tell my Mom when she wonders how she will go on without him, although it was my Dad's time to leave this Earth, it is not ours, and we need to go on living as we have things yet to accomplish here. And I will take every opportunity I have to make my Dad proud of me...It is not that much different than how I have always lived my life, but now I get to do it on my own.
There is a tremendous sense of relief...A weight lifted off my chest. I will miss my Dad every day of my life, which I don't think is unusual, but the end of the suffering and pain is truly a blessing.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers for Dad throughout this horrible illness. Your visits kept him going, and your love and support of Mom and I meant more to him than you will ever know.
We will be working on the memorial service details over the next few days, which I will post here in the blog and in the obituary when things are firmed up.
Much love to all and many blessings to everyone. Heaven has a new angel looking out for us all.
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