He said that this kind of stroke robs their victims of their ability to censor their thoughts. They think them and are not able to filter their actions. He says he has a lot of male patients that fondle female nurses not because they are perverted, but that they get a thought, and act on it without taking into consideration the ramifications. He said she is actually pretty good...Has concept of where she is and what happened, and her short term memory is fairly good. But he says she is much like a child, and will not listen to something she does not want to hear, no matter how rational it is.
I asked him his advice on how to avoid the triggers that set her off. He said that we need to keep encouraging her, and praise her as much as possible. Let her show what she is proud of, and get excited for her. He said that I need to not be afraid to lie to her and not tell her things that will upset her...Well, things that she does not need to be told, anyway. He also used a metaphor to help me understand...He said that it is a little like playing a board game with a 4 year old...If you stick by the rules, the 4-year old will get mad and leave. But if you let them have some extra turns, and skip some spaces, and roll the dice until they get a higher roll, they have a lot of fun and enjoy themselves.
He also told me that his strongest advice was that I need to not visit as much. He said when family visits every day, it inhibits the person from being able to fully integrate with the nursing home. They become used to delaying what they want until family gets there, and do not learn to get used to how the nursing home works. He said that it would be good if I go 3-4 times a week on average, and to not stay too long. This will help Mom to get more comfortable, and it will have her looking forward to my visit, and give her more to talk about. It does make sense, and I know that often times, my presence just winds her up.
I did ask his opinion on her prognosis, as far as the likelihood of her living at home again. He said that depends on how she progresses physically. He said that she should not ever be left alone, so coming home will need to include supervision at all times. I know it is not going to happen in the next few weeks, so I will just have to take things as they come. She needs to keep up with her PT as long as possible, so she can get stronger and gain as much mobility as possible. I am also hoping that she will stay there with Dad as long as possible, because time is precious with him, and at home, she is not able to roll in and see him anytime she wants. That is one of those concepts she is not really grasping at this time...Just have to take things as they come...
Dad is doing pretty well. Quite alert at times. It is so nice that he does not have to leave Magnolia, where he is used to the people and sounds, etc., but still has the benefit of hospice. So far, hospice has been a great addition and they are taking such good care of him.
Well, we just keep pushing ahead, hoping for the best, fighting our hardest, and being thankful for each and every day. My visits will be a little less frequent, so if you can stop by when you have some free time, they would love it!:)
Thank you for all you do. When you keep us in your prayers and good thoughts, please take a short moment to include my friends Chris and Allison as well. Their sweet Logan, one of their two retired racing Greyhounds is going through some significant health issues at this time. Keep hoping for them and sending your positive energy that he will be strong enough to pull through his ordeal.
Much love!
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