Azteca! Sis Boom Blah...

I saw Dad earlier today, and he was doing pretty well. When I got there, our family friend Dennis was there. As soon as I stepped in, Dad said "oh good, I want to tell you about this show I watched this morning...it was about the A-bomb." He really enjoyed this show, whatever it was. Dad said that he and Dennis had been sharing "war stories..." He mentioned Suzanne Pleshette, who I think Dad met once, and I asked him if he had mentioned his Fraternity's sweetheart from San Diego State...He said, "Oh, I haven't talked about her yet..." He was having a little trouble with he name, so I said "Tejada...?" And he said, "oh yes, she was gorgeous...Raquel Tejada..." And I said "and who did she marry?" And he said "Bud Welch..." So, he says "yes, Raquel Welch..."

Dad also talked about how bored he is. So, Dennis and I were brainstorming what he could do to help pass the time. He is so unsure of himself, that when we mentioned things, he kept saying "I need to start as slow and simple as possible..." And, "Don't get too complicated on me..." I still think one of those little handheld poker machines might be a great start. I am going to stop at Target tomorrow on the way to see him and see if I can find something like that.

Tonight was the first Aztec Football game of the season, and although the crowd was larger than usual, but still pretty meager, and the football was mediocre as it has been for the past few years, it was really different without my Dad. This will be the first season he has missed in 50 years. I am going to do my best to try and figure out a way to get him there for at least one game, but we will just have to see.

Jay, and Jim and I went, found a place to park, which was so strange, because it was not where we always parked, drank some beer, ate some chips, and went up to our seats. Instead of looking at the empty seat where my Dad sits, Jay brought one of my Dad's Aztec shirts and hats. He brought a piece of cardboard, and they sat in my Dad's seat the whole game. He was there in spirit!

Hope everyone's weekend is going well!

Love to all!

Gotta love long weekends...

I am so glad it is Friday. It was a long week, and I am looking forward to some rest and relaxation this weekend...Well, at least some time off anyway.

I was at my Friday night dinner with friends tonight, so I didn't see Dad. I was there for a little while last night, but he got tired, so I left around 7:15. He is so funny...He knows how to play my Mom like a fiddle, and I just don't cave in the same way she does. When he wants something, and she says no or indicates he shouldn't have it right that moment, he pulls out some pathetic reason why she should, and she just folds like a cot. Now don't get me wrong, we are not keeping him from food or water or anything, but after he brushes his teeth at night, he really doesn't need candy in his mouth before he goes to sleep...I tell ya, if he gets a cavity or any other sort of dental problem, we are going to be in big trouble!

But he will say things like "if you really loved me you would give me a piece of candy..." My Mom falls prey to it every time...I always call him on it, and he just laughs...He knows exactly what he is doing.

So, the nurses called my Mom last night because he does not have any chemo pills left. He has not been prescribed any more at this time. I called Dr. Zu's office just to double check that this was correct. Turns out, Dr. Zu will evaluate him at our appointment on September 9th, and probably write a new prescription then for that 5 day a month, higher dosage regimen. For now, he doesn't have to take it.

So tomorrow is the first San Diego State Aztec game of the year. Both my Dad and I are SDSU alumni, and my Dad has had season tickets to Aztec football for 50 years. This will be the first season he has missed. He ordered his tickets in April, so Jay, Jim and I will be going. It won't be the same without Dad. Jim and I were talking today, and we are just not sure what we are going to do. As long as I can remember, we have tailgated at the top of section G...The very top, in the disabled parking section. Everyone knew where to find us, and we always had a place...But now, without Dad, we can't park at the top of the section, and the sections below where we used to be are press...We are not sure where to go. And Jim and I were talking about how we were going to get there...My Dad always picked us all up and took us...It took Jim and I a few minutes to try and figure out the best way to get us all to the game. It certainly is going to be different without Dad, but we plan to enjoy ourselves enough for him too.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, and makes the best of our beautiful city. Spend time with those you love, doing the things you love to do, and enjoy every minute of it.

Much love!

Aimee

The Final Day!

I didn't spend much time with Dad today. I had a presentation at work that our team has been working on for about 6 months. Things came out really well, but it made me work later than usual, so I didn't get to Dad until almost 7:30, and he was dozing off.

I did go in and tell him that we needed to recognize that this was the last day of radiation! We (well he) conquered one more obstacle! I needed to cheer, tell him I love him, kiss him goodnight and leave...Which is exactly what I did.

He seems tired as per usual, but in good spirits otherwise. He was so cute with his earplugs in ready for bed.

I will get there earlier tomorrow to spend a little more time with him.

Until then...Goodnight!:)

Much love!

Tomorrow is the last day!

So, due to lame calculations on my part, tomorrow is the last day of radiation!

In talking with Dr. Uhl today, he said that he is surprised Dad did so well with the treatment. He said that when he started, he was unsure if Dad was going to be able to make it through the full 6 weeks, and he was pleasantly surprised that he did so well. He said it was a tough treatment and I said, "well, my Dad is a tough guy!"

He said that there was still a lot of swelling inside his head, and although the radiation therapy will still continue to work on the cancer cells, that the swelling should start to subside, and he should slowly start to see his energy level increase in 10 days to 3 weeks. He also said there might be some irritation to his scalp after the fact, but lotion should help with that.

So, we will meet with the chemotherapy oncologist in 2 weeks to discuss the next phase of chemo. Dr. Uhl said the daily dose of chemo that my Dad has been taking is really just a support to help bolster the radiation therapy. Dr. Zu will probably now increase the dosage per pill, but he may only take the pills 5 days a month.

Then, we go back and see Dr. Uhl in a month for a follow-up, and then in 3 months, Dad will go for an MRI to see the definitive results of the treatment.

So, this is all good news. Gotta just keep hoping for the best.

Have a great evening!

Much love!

Charger Power!

So, no news about Dad tonight because I was at the Charger game. What a great game. It started a little slow, but the end was great! When they went for the 2-point conversion, the stadium went wild! It was pretty full, and we had killer seats. Can't ask for much more than that!

So, tomorrow morning, I am going to radiation to talk to the Dr. I am looking forward to hearing what is next in the plan, and if there is anything we should look for, should or shouldn't do, and what we can expect.

I have high hopes, and am trying to come up with ways to continue to stimulate my Dad, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is hard because he has a difficult time processing the sequence of things. His memory is uncanny, and his sense of humor is right on track, and his vision gets better every day. Yet, I still have to explain the remote control to the TV to him every time I leave, and although he likes to watch TV, he readily admits he doesn't really understand what is going on. I think I am going to try playing cards with him again, and I am thinking of writing him stories or letters that he can read if he gets bored.

I just don't want him to get discouraged or depressed because he is not gotten out of bed first thing in the morning. That seemed to get his day jump-started. And being at work, it makes it difficult for someone to be there and get him motivated in the morning.

I am hoping that his PT starts to escalate somehow. I still haven't witnessed it, and it just doesn't seem to be doing much good. He used to be so motivated after PT, whether it was helping or not. I put lotion on my Dad's arms so he doesn't get dry, and his muscles in his arms have just wasted away. I can't imagine that whatever they are doing in his bed for PT can be doing much good. I am not sure what the prescribed PT is supposed to be, and I guess something is better than nothing, but if someone would just work with him and motivate him, it might make all the difference in the world.

On a tangent, I am not a big Senator Kennedy fan, but since he and my Dad share the same ailment, I am interested in his prognosis and progress. Not sure if you saw him on the news with his speech from the Democratic National Convention, but he looks great.

Anyway, I hope for a detailed report tomorrow after talking to the Dr. Stay tuned!:)

Love to all.

In the final stretch...

Well, the final stretch of this part. This week is Dad's last week of radiation, so Mom and I will be there on Tuesday to chat with Dr. Uhl to see what we need to do/be aware of/change in the absence of coming to radiation therapy every week day. I can't believe it has been 6 weeks already. It just seems like yesterday we were raising hell with Sharp because that computer that finalized his position in the radiation machine was broken...It is amazing how time passes.

Saw Dad for about an hour today. I had done a little "worshipping" (shoe shopping), at my "church" (DSW - Designer Shoe Warehouse) with my friend Allison. We wanted to check out the new DSW that opened up in Otay Ranch, and we had lunch at the Macaroni Grill. When I lived up in Orange County, there was a Macaroni Grill right down the street from my house, and it had gotten to be the place we went when my parents would come up to visit. Now we finally have one south of North County Fair!

Then Allison and I went to Magnolia for a visit. For a little while there, it was my Mom, Allison, and our friends the Helmantoler's came by, so there was a room full! He was tired today, which he is on days that he doesn't have radiation or PT. I was there for dinner, and he didn't like his stew much, and his jaw continued to bother him. He did eat his corn bread (with butter), his pears and raisins, and then when I told him there were chocolate chip cookies, he wanted those something awful. They were pretty crunchy, so even though I broke a little piece off, it still hurt him to chew. So, I made him the happiest guy in the room when I would break off a piece and dunk it in milk until it was soft before I gave it to him.

I also brought him some "mini-pops" from See's Candies. Ever since Dad has been asking for "chocolate Werther's" I have thought about those See's hard candy lollipops in chocolate. Then I remembered that they had little candy versions called "mini-pops." Then it was a matter of finding the time to go to See's...Which I did today. He was pretty happy with his "mini-pops," but I still think he likes the Werther's better...That is ok, now he has the choice.

I know I won't be seeing Dad tomorrow because I get to go to the Charger game thanks to my friend Andrea. I am so excited to go! I do plan on going to radiation on Tuesday morning, so I will see Dad briefly then, and again in the evening.

Because he has had so few side effects to the radiation and chemo, I am interested to see what happens when he is not on them any longer. I wonder how much of the tiredness, or the crankiness, or the confusion, lack of appetite (except for the sweet things he loves) or the sensitivity is actually a side effect. Maybe none of it, but I am anxious to see if there is any difference.

I hope everyone's week is a great one!

Love to all!

Did you see that sunset?

It couldn't have been a nicer day. The weather was beautiful and the sunset was killer. I went and spent a few hours with Dad this afternoon. I brought him some Costco pizza and he was in heaven. He only wants to eat junk food, and he has gotten to the point where he won't eat anything from his trays but dessert, and he is practically living on apple fritters...But at least he is eating something. His jaw is still really bothering him.

And, to top it all off, we hate his new room. It is room 20, and he is right next to the kitchen and the dining hall. Lots of pots and pans and plates and trays banging for like 3 hours 3 times a day, and when that is not happening, there is a bingo game or a piano player in the dining hall. The noise is just driving him crazy. The room is smaller, and looks really small because it doesn't have that vaulted ceiling like the other one. And the thing I really don't like, is he is facing the other way...It was nice in the other room when most people came to visit, they sat on his left side because of how the room was. It has helped his left neglect tremendously, to the point where it really isn't that much of a factor anymore.

My Mom went down today to let the staff know that when his old room is completed, we want to move back in there with his two room mates. They are quiet (Jeffrey sleeps a lot, and Edward spends most of his day tooling around the property), and pleasant.

We don't talk much to Edward, but he seems nice enough, and we have gotten to exchanging hellos with Jeffrey, until today. He actually stopped by and started chatting with us about how much he hates the room location too. He then told us why he is in there. He has been diabetic for the past 20 years, and has been on dialysis for the past 4 years due to the diabetes. My Mom asked if he was on a donor list for a kidney, and he said that he was, but he switched hospitals, and they have to start the effort to get his name on the waiting list all over again, and that can take up to a year. All of this, and he is only 34 years old. My goodness, what a tough life.

Our good friend Dennis stopped by today for a visit. We had a nice chat and it really tired my Dad out. He was particularly tired today. I really think that when he is not gotten out of bed in the morning, that he gets really tired, and sort of depressed...He doesn't have much reason to make an effort.

I was having a little pity party today with myself. My Dad is doing so well with the treatments, and he continues to get a little better everyday. If my Dad had full use of his limbs, he would be up and walking and being active, and getting stronger all the time. But, because he is limited, and used every bit of himself to overcome his disability all his life, he just doesn't have anything left in him to tackle more than surviving this challenge, let alone get to a point where he can be more independent. It is hard to admit that my "SuperDad" is merely human, and is only capable of so much, and it makes me feel so helpless that I can't figure out how to make it better for him. Lots of people ask me when will he go home...I don't have an answer to that, and I don't really know what to say when he asks me either. Because of his limitations, he requires 2 aides or 1 aid and a lift to move him from bed to wheelchair and back. And the showers at the house are no longer accessible for him. And on top of that, we would have to provide all transportation to and from Dr.'s appointments, which we don't have a wheelchair accessible vehicle (and boy are they expensive! I have done some research)...But most importantly, it would be Mom, a home health nurse, me and the TV...That is it. At least now, he sees different nurses and aides all the time, and hears other conversations, and sees different people every day. I am afraid he would get awfully bored at home.

I guess we will have to see what happens after the radiation is over, and how well his treatments worked. Maybe then we will have a better idea of what opportunities he will have in the future.

Ok, so I will let the pity party end for now...:) Dad was in pretty good spirits today. He asks lots of questions about the room..."What is that red thing?" "Who's plant is that on the sink?" "Who's picture is that on the mirror?" All the little things that are different in the room. For a man who was claiming that he couldn't see very well, he does pretty good.

I hope everyone's weekend is wonderful! The weather is perfect!

Much love.

I went out with friends tonight to the Starlight Bowl to see My Fair Lady, so I didn't get the chance to see Dad today. And I haven't talked to my Mom, so I am not sure how today went. I like to think that no news is good news, but I hope Mom calls me tonight just so I know for sure.

So without an update on Dad, I thought I would let everyone know about a wonderful program coming up on Friday, September 5. It is called "Stand Up to Cancer" and it will be broadcast on time donated by the three major networks, NBC, ABC and CBS. On at 8 p.m. Eastern and Pacific, it is a combination of entertainment from major stars, telethon for donations, inspiring stories and reports on new advances in Cancer research. It proves to be a great program that everyone should watch. For more information on this program, please go to www.StandUpToCancer.org.

I am so glad tomorrow is Friday. I am looking forward to the weekend. I hope the weather holds and it is just as nice as it has been this week. I hope everyone has a great Friday and an even better weekend!

Love to all!

Why are there only 24 hours in a day?

I ask because I can't seem to get everything done in a mere 24 hours, let alone do fun things I want to do...And then on the flip side, there is my Dad, who probably wishes the days would go faster...Or at least were filled with more to do. Life can be funny, can't it?

Dad was doing well tonight when I got there. My Mom and Aunt were there, and my Aunt brought him some Riesen candy, which he LOVED. He has been complaining the last 2 days that his jaw has been bothering him. It is sore and popping on the right side. I am wondering if he has a slight case of TMJ...Not sure what would have brought it on, but maybe the mask from radiation throws it off a little. It is pretty funny though, he will tell you it is a little sore, but then he will want to eat something crunchy or chewy...Like the Riesen my Aunt brought. I told him that he is talking too much...:) He got a kick out of that one.

So, the time has come for them to start remodeling my Dad's room. Starting tomorrow, they will begin work on his room, so tomorrow or the next day, he will be moved to room 20, bed A. He will still be rooming with Jeffrey and Edward, but in another room. They say it takes about 3 weeks to renovate the room, and they will move them back to 40. I have mentioned it before, but the remodeled rooms are gorgeous. Dark hardwood floors, steel blue and sage green accents, dark wood cabinets and drawers, and flat screen TV's. I am not sure about the bathrooms, but if they are anything like the guest restrooms, they may have granite sinks. The look seems so much cleaner and modern, and somehow, roomier. I only hope that the change does not rile Dad up too much...Sometimes he doesn't really like drastic change. We told him all about it, so he has been warned, and maybe he will be farther away from some of the noise he dislikes so much. In fact, the guy next to him sometimes has trouble with the volume on his TV, and it just drives Dad crazy...When my Mom got there today, he was agitated and said "turn that guy's TV down or off...I just can't take it anymore!" My Mom, looked right at him and gently said "Scotch...It is your TV..." All he could say was "oh...Then turn it off too!"

Speaking of noise, he keeps scolding me and my Mom (my Mom especially) about our shoes. He says that they are too loud on the floor, and we should get other shoes so we don't bother the other residents. But, then I told him he wouldn't be able to hear Mom and she might sneak up on him...He said "never mind...keep the ones you have!" We just laughed.

I am going out with friends tomorrow, so I am not going to see Dad. But I will be back to see him on Friday.

Love to all!

I guess I was a little tired...:)

So, last night was a fluke...I came in and turned on the computer, and while it was booting up, I went back into my bedroom to grab something and sat down on the bed...Next thing I knew, I woke up, it was 3:13 a.m., all of the lights and the TV were on...I must have been tired.

I did see Dad last night, and tonight. He was doing well both nights. He is not having any pain really, and most of the time, his attitude is awesome. He sometimes gets frustrated because he doesn't have much in the way of patience, and he is pretty sensitive to things...Those things are not at all what my Dad used to be. He was patient and humble and tolerant...But, if this is the most severe part of the situation, I will take it.

I got a call from Dad's friend Jack today. He had gone by to see him, and had some questions about their visit. He hit the nail on the head when he said that one minute, you will be having a perfectly logical, normal conversation with him, and the next, he will talk about something that isn't exactly correct...My problem is telling the difference! Sometimes when he speaks what I think is nonsense, I find out he is right. I have learned not to doubt him...:)

So, in addition to Jack, my Dad's friend Rip stopped by, and a wonderful surprise in the evening, was Trisha. Trisha works in my Mom's dentist's office. If you remember from back in June, when my Dad went to see Dr. Hardy, the dentist and some of his staff came down to say hello because both Dr.'s are in the same building. I guess when Mom was at the dentist today, she mentioned to Trisha where Dad was, and she was sweet enough to come by for a visit. What a nice surprise and such a kind gesture. Thank you Trisha, you were a great end to the evening for him...And Mom and I too!:)

I also have to give a big thank you to the Kartvedt family for their donation. Another note of encouragement and such a kind gesture. This is the family of the brother of my friend Kristin, and as I mentioned before, they lost their mom Susie in 1999 to a glioblastoma multiforme. Thank you Nan Marie!!:) As I have said before, I call them my "big family" family, and they have always made me feel like one of the bunch...Sharing happy times and sad, and being there for each other, and now, once again, I am blessed to have those who are right here during the dark times. I am a very lucky person...And so thankful for that. I am not sure what I would do if i didn't have the strength of others to get me through each day. Sometimes, when I think there is just nothing left in me, someone calls, or emails, or visits, or sends a card and makes me realize that there is enough left to get through the next hurdle. It is truly an amazing feeling.

Much love!

I spent some time with Dad yesterday between lunch with friends and the Padre Game at night. What a great game...We actually won! We sat in some killer seats, and you know when the Pad Squad sling shots shirts and balls into the crowd? We had a shirt bobble over to us, and I got hit in the shoulder with one of those balls! Luckily, it is a squishy ball. Giving the shirt to Dad thanks to Lynda...I think he will really like it!

I went up to Irvine to have lunch with some old friends. It was good to see them both, and to meet their new baby Jacob. Kathy was there for me during hard times before, and here she is, right back to give advice, support, happy thoughts and understanding. I guess it takes times like these to make it oh so clear who our true friends are. Jacob is just darling, and has the biggest blue eyes you have ever seen. What a little sweetie!

I did go by and see Dad this evening for just a few minutes. He was doing well, but a little tired. he told me that my Uncle came by today, and our good friend Dennis came by yesterday. I owe a huge thanks to Dennis and his wife Maddie and their kids Matthew and Danielle for their generous donation to Team Scotch on the Rocks. They officially pushed me over my goal of raising $1000! I set that goal as a dream, and never did I think I would actually make it! Thank you so much to everyone!

We have a great group of walkers lined up for the team, and with Kristin's team, we will have a blast! It is less than a month away now!:)

Anyway, Dad was pretty good tonight. A little confused, but he can get that way when he is tired. He only has a few weeks left of radiation. He started one month ago today. I think he goes all this week and then the following week until Thursday. From what I understand from the radiation oncologist, they will then review his chemo, and either change the dosage, or cut him back to 5 pills a month, or both. He also said they will wait 2 months and then do a Cat Scan to see what is going on inside his head. He said that the radiation continues to work until then. I am a little nervous about radiation ending. Not that I want him to have to go through that, but it does get him up and out of bed, and out of Magnolia...His days will be getting very long and even more boring...This is not good for his stimulation. So, we will do our best to change things up as much as possible and hope that we have visitors to help pass the time.

Hope everyone has a wonderful week!:)

Much love!

Back in action...

Sorry for this week...I was out late with Lvonne a few nights and then I was having trouble logging into the site last night.

Things have been going pretty well this week. Dad was having a bit of anxiety about a few things, but he was pretty quick to calm down. We all really enjoyed Lvonne's visit. It was good to spend time with her, and it was good to have a happy diversion from real life. We spent a good deal of time with my Dad but managed to spend an evening at SeaWorld and have a few meals out, and do a little shopping. It was good for Mom and I to break out of our routine a little bit and change things up. The week went so fast...

So, we heard some disturbing news this week. We hope it is not true...Dad comes up with some doozies sometimes...But he said that a friend of his came by and said that one of our good family friends had a stroke (or 3 or 4, depending on the conversation). These are friends who just came to visit last week. So, my Mom has been calling and I have sent an email in hopes that my Dad is just mistaken.

So, Lvonne and I went and got Dad a new remote control for his television. It is simpler and easier to use than the one the staff lost, so hopefully he will be able to use it. We will just have to wait and see.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Much love!

Sorry no post yesterday...

I went and picked up my cousin Lvonne from the airport last night. She is on my Mom's side of the family, from Pennsylvania. She asked if she could come for a visit, and I said of course. I didn't, however, tell my Mom. If I had, Mom would have worried incessantly until she got here..This way, she got to just be surprised at lunch today, and boy was she surprised.:) Lvonne will be here all week, and I am hoping she will help us to change up the routine a little, and we can do some things we haven't done in a while...Eat out, shopping...etc.

After lunch today, Mom, Lvonne and I went down to Magnolia to see Dad. I had told Dad on Sunday that Lvonne was coming, so he was just happy to see her! We spent the latter part of the afternoon and into the evening with Dad. He was doing pretty good today. Lvonne and I did stop by radiation this morning, and for the minute or so that we saw him, he seemed really emotional and agitated.

But, this afternoon, he was pretty calm, and we had good conversation about the family, and the Olympics and how he hates cream of wheat.

He had complained about before the cream of wheat, and hot cereals in general. So, when the dietitian came in to talk to his room mate, he told me to "grab her so we can ask her a question..." I said, "what question?" And he said"...Um....I don't know..." Well, by this time, she had walked out. So, remembering about cream of wheat, I went down the hall after her, and mentioned that he didn't like cream of wheat. She said "oh no...And they give it to him every morning.." So she came back and talked to him, and it looks like he will be getting cold cereal from now on...He was very happy about that!

And another special thanks to Debbie Miller for your donation to Team Scotch on the Rocks for the Brain Tumor Foundation Walk on September 13th. I so appreciate your support and kind words about Dad. He is so fortunate to have worked with so many special people at Rohr/Goodrich. Thank you for taking the time and effort to donate to such a worthy cause.

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!

Much love!

"Six and a half dozen of another..."

I spent quite a few hours with Dad today, just he and I watching the Olympics. He said my Uncle stopped by this morning and I guess I just missed the Preston's. He was in good spirits today. Mellow, but pretty pleasant. We had a laugh when one of the nurses Ruby stopped in and said "I just wanted to look in on you and see if there was any crabgrass today..." (asking how cranky he was). He just laughed and said "nope, not today...I am pretty good today..."

We watched some swimming, and gymnastics, and men's beach volleyball. I think Dad has a pretty short attention span, and his mind doesn't work well enough to fill in the blanks when he starts paying attention again, and this frustrates him. At one point, when we were watching swimming, he said, "I don't even know what is going on..." I said, "well, they are swimming..." And he said, "well, I don't know anything beyond that..." I laughed and said "Well, Rebecca Soni just swam the breast stroke." And Dad slowly turned to me and said "she's an American? And her last name is Sony? No wonder I am confused." We just laughed.

Then we started talking about Mom, and how she is just the little busy body, and always futzing with something...His bib, his blankets, his clothes...She fusses about him and everything else all the time. She has always been like this, but obviously she didn't treat him like this before the tumor, so, I think it is slowly driving him crazy...Well, that and he kind of likes it...It really is a dichotomy...At one point, he said "she could confuse the back end of rubber band..." I was like "What?" And he said "where the heck did I come up with that?" And just laughed.

A little known secret about my Mom, is that she has a knack for screwing up proverbs...You know, those little sayings...Like killing two birds with one stone? Yah, my Mom's version is "killing a two birds with a couple of stones..." Six of one and a half dozen of another? Dorth's version is "Six and a half dozen of another..." When my Mom got there, she came in irritated about something that happened, and she said "well, whoop dee doo and Mrs. Kaniver too!" Um, what the heck does that mean??? Later, she tried to tell me that the saying was actually "Tippecanoe and Tyler too," which, when I Googled it said it was from a "popular and influential campaign song from the 1840 presidential election..." Um....Ok? We all had a big laugh over that.

We started talking about the opening ceremonies, and I was trying to explain to them the tremendous parts where all the performers were in synch. We were saying that we here in the US could never get 2008 people to work so hard to be in synch like the Chinese did. And I went on to talk about how I studied different cultures in college, and Asian is quite different than the US. While in the US, we promote the individual, and celebrate and reward those who speak up the loudest...For instance, one of our proverbs is "The squeaky wheel gets the oil." In China, it is all about conforming and being a part of the greater good. It is not good to stand out. There is a Chinese proverb that is equivalent to "the tallest nail is the one that gets hit on the head." My Mom thought about this for a few seconds and said "well, you'd better hope they don't grow any taller then..." Leave it to Dorth...

So, I am not going to see Dad tomorrow, but I am going to radiation on Tuesday, and then plan to spend the late afternoon and evening with Dad on Tuesday. I am taking a few days off this week, and hope to see Dad and maybe get Mom broken out of her habits a little...She needs a change.

Hope everyone has a great week!

Much love!

Wow...What a beautiful San Diego day!

I spent the morning with my friends who are in town visiting. I always call them my "big-family family." I met Kristin at SeaWorld about 17 years ago, and even after she moved to Las Vegas, we remained close. We were in each other's weddings, and whenever I spend time with her family, I always feel like one of the bunch. Her brothers and sisters-in-law and nieces and nephews are fun and active and it is what I always imagined it would be like to have siblings. Last night, we celebrated her youngest son Ethan's 6th birthday (they grow so fast), and then watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, which were like nothing I have ever seen before...Breathtaking.

Kristin's Mom Susie passed away in 1999 from a glioblastoma, like my Dad has. Only, hers was found very late, and she passed away about 3 weeks after surgery. She was a teacher, so full of life and love for her children and grandchildren. As I mentioned before, Kristin will be walking on September 13th as well.

It was a beautiful day. I got to Dad in the late afternoon, and he had just gotten out of the shower. He was in bed and happy to be settled again. What I saw today seemed much better than most of the other days this past week. Mom said that today seemed better, but he still got agitated from time to time. He and I chatted about the opening ceremonies, his chat with our cousin Steve who stopped by today, and then dinner showed up. Mom said he had a big lunch, but for dinner he ate half a sandwich, and his ice cream. He was tired, and was watching the Padre game, then the Charger game, and then the Olympics with his eyes open just a crack. I left about 7:40, and he was about ready to doze off. I am planning on going back tomorrow for a few hours in the afternoon. He seemed good today.

Much love to all!

Good news...

So, my Mom's persistence paid off. Apparently all the nagging and fretting that my Mom does that drives me and my Dad crazy works on other people too.:) After pressing the house Dr. at Magnolia, and involving Dad's primary doctor, they finally took a chest x-ray and bloodwork today...All of which came out fine, although Dad's calcium was a little low. This is very good news...No sign of pneumonia, which hopefully means it is just allergies. Next step is to see if they can prescribe the Pred again to sort of clear everything up. I think he will feel a lot better.

I was with out of town friends tonight, so I didn't get to see Dad. But my Aunt, cousin and friend's the Sullivan's all stopped by. Mom said he was agitated again today, but she was able to calm him down a bit. He is still on the warpath about his remote control, which they have yet to bring back, and he is really looking forward to his shower tomorrow.

He gets so tired in the evenings now. He is pretty much sacked out, ready to fall asleep to the TV by 7:15 or so, and that is even after napping for a couple hours in the afternoon, and I assume he sleeps through the night. The switch in time has really seemed to have an impact...Or perhaps the radiation is finally just catching up with him and it just so happened to be the week the time changed...We may never know.

Looking forward to seeing Dad tomorrow afternoon. I always like the weekends because I have more time to spend with him, and I am not tired from a whole day at work.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Much love.

Another cranky day...

Dad was once again in a mood...Not as bad as yesterday, but he is really confused and having a hard time tracking with things, and just gets really angry at the most random things. He kind of has the teenage girl attitude of "something isn't going my way as fast as I would like it to? My whole life is RUINED!" I remember having those emotions...:) It is like he is hyper-sensitive. For instance, he wanted the TV turned on to channel 4 (really the only thing he watches), and when we couldn't locate the remote control (which he can't really work anyway), he just threw his hands in the air and said "well, there goes my night..." I turned on channel 4 manually, and I told him to just push his call button if he wanted it turned off...He said "but, what if I want to watch something else?" Valid question...But, he was almost dozing off when I was leaving after 7:00, so I don't really think it mattered after all. By the way, the remote had accidentally been taken when they changed his bed...They pulled the remote out before they washed it, but then couldn't figure out where the laundry lady put it. At least it is around somewhere. I took my little dog Newman down to see Dad today, and I think he liked seeing the dog. When Dad got in bed tonight, Newman ran right up and liked his face...It made my Dad laugh, which is such a good thing to see.

But, like I said, today was a little better. He ate his dinner out on the patio after some wine and smokes. He was served a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, macaroni salad, soup, carrot and raisin salad, tapioca pudding, and iced tea. He had about half of the sandwich, no soup, a bite of carrot and raisin salad (just enough to know he didn't like it), a few bites of macaroni salad, and all of the tapioca (his favorite). He is so worried about gaining weight, but I have read that some of the side effects of the Decadron (the anti-inflammation steroid) can cause hunger, and he is also starting to get some of the tell tale steroid signs, such as the swollen face and the weight gain. The Decadron is especially important now because it is supposed to help keep the swelling in his brain down.

So, another huge thank you to Paula and Jay! Your help and support has been priceless, but thank you for your donation to the Brain Tumor walk. I was really shooting for the stars when I put $1000 as my goal, and here I am, over a month away, and I am almost there. Thank you to all of you who have donated! I am overwhelmed. My new goal is to bust right through the $1000 and see just how much I can raise! And please, if you would like to take a fall Saturday morning to make a difference in the fight against brain cancer, come walk with us! The more, the merrier! Please let me know if you are even the slightest bit interested.

My friends from Las Vegas are in town for the weekend, so I am going to their youngest son's birthday dinner tomorrow night, so I will miss seeing Dad. But I plan to go on Saturday and Sunday, so I think that will be fine. He seemed to think so too.

Have a wonderful weekend, and go Chargers!

Much love!

I am not sure if it is really crankiness or what, but today was another day of frustration and anxiety today. It just seems that he is very easy to agitate, and when something sets him off, it is hard to get him to forget about it.

By the time I got there today, Mom was just giving up on trying to get him to eat his dinner...Sloppy Joes. He just wanted no part of it. So, luckily, there was an apple fritter my Mom had brought him for tomorrow, and he ate that right up.

He kept going on about how my Mom kept "poking him in the face" and how mad he was about it. I looked at my Mom in confusion, and she said that she used a damp towel to try and wipe his eyes...He told me I didn't understand how awful it was that people kept "poking him in the face..." My Mom kept looking at me helpless, because no matter what she did, he was still mad at her. I can do a pretty good job at calming him down, because I talk to him in a very rational way and call on his sense of reason, which usually works eventually. Not tonight. He was just determined to be in a bad mood, but then apologetic for it...I left to have a late dinner with friends, and Mom said that he really didn't get much better after I left. I think he is just more tired now with his radiation in the morning. One of the side effects was supposed to be late afternoon/evening tiredness. He never really had much of that, but with his radiation happening at 3:00, that tiredness probably started sometime in the evening, when he was sleeping. Maybe now with the radiation at 10:00, it is starting to hit him earlier. Either way, it is really emotionally draining on everyone. It is amazing how much different the world looks when things are positive than when they are negative...We just have to try and be strong, and encourage Dad to stay focused on the positive.

His chest congestion was not any better today. My Mom talked to his primary doctor, who said that with everything going on, and where he is, he just can't write a prescription for the Pred. He is going to put a call into the house Dr. at Magnolia to talk to him about the trouble Dad had before. I guess it only happens in the afternoon. My Mom said that they checked him out at radiation today, and everything sounded fine...I guess that is a good thing, but he says that he coughs a lot at night, which may be preventing him from getting a good night's sleep, which in turn may be a part of his aggravation.

He did get some PT today. They are doing it from his bed though, so I am not sure exactly what they are doing. I am taking some time off next week, and I plan to be around at least one day to observe. It is just hard to be in 2+ places at once. We are all doing our best though. But it is exhausting!

Love to all!

Well...Today, he was still cranky...At least this evening he was. My Aunt and my cousin's son (her grandson, and my, well...second cousin once removed? Not sure how that goes) went to radiation today. Cody got to watch the whole treatment, which, once they get him loaded onto the table and get his mask secured, the treatment is less than 10 minutes. You can watch were everything is happening on a small screen that the technician uses. When they talked to him there, he seemed to be in good spirits.

By the time I got there tonight, he was very frustrated and angry, and a little confused. My Uncle says he is bored and has too much time to think about everything, especially with this new radiation schedule. I think that is a big part of it.

He said that he started physical therapy today. He said he worked with "the guy from the hallway"...Yah, I think he is confused. There is a man who's wife is in the next room, and he is there almost as much as we are, if not more. He often sits in the hallway right outside her room, in direct eye shot of my Dad. I kind of think he is funny, because he wears thick, black-rimmed glasses, has a very dated hairdo (or perhaps toupee), button up shirts, straight jeans or slacks, and dress shoes...He kind of looks like he could have been an extra on the Brady Bunch. The first few times we were there, I kept having to look around because I kept thinking I had gone back in time. Anyway, from what I can tell, whoever came to see him did the evaluation today. Because, although he says he had PT, he never left his bed. So, I am assuming (hoping) that this was the evaluation, and PT should start tomorrow.

Mom and I are also worried about the chest congestion. Mom asked today if the house Dr. at Magnolia would prescribe the 5 pills of Prednizone like he had gotten back in May for his allergies. He said "no, he can just keep taking the Zyrtec." Well, the chest congestion is causing him a great deal of stress, because he is really scared of getting pneumonia. So, I am going to have my Mom call his primary care Doctor tomorrow to see if Pred can be prescribed with everything else he has going on...It can't hurt to ask...Right?

I hope tomorrow brings more settling in for Dad, and he starts to feel a little better and more positive.

Love to all!

Dad is my inspiration..In life, and for the blog...

When I don't see Dad, I have a hard time knowing what to write...:) I had a chance to see a friend from high school that I hadn't seen in at least 10 years. He and his darling wife live in London, and were in town for a visit. It was nice to chat with them, and to meet her. But that of course precluded me seeing Dad tonight, since it was after 8:00 by the time we left the restaurant.

I did talk to Mom, and she said that he was kinda cranky today. He was really upset thinking that he missed his radiation today, but his nurse Ivana told Mom that he went as scheduled. So, maybe the change in schedule was throwing him off. He has also had congestion in his chest and the sniffles, so we are hoping that he is not coming down with a cold. He had some pretty severe allergies earlier this year landed him in Urgent Care, and they gave him a week's worth of Prednizone in a low dosage, and put him on Zyrtec, and he has been doing pretty well ever since. Except for the past day or two. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day all around.

I was reminded again today about how lucky we are. And how lucky my Dad is to be in as good of shape as he is. One of the women I have known for years at work lost her husband around two years ago. I stopped and talked to her today because I remembered he too had suffered from a brain tumor. I asked her what kind, and although he passed away a month after his diagnosis when he threw a clot that went into his lungs, he also had a glioblastoma multiforme. Steve had also worked at SeaWorld for many years. He had gone to the hospital with stroke-like symptoms, and they gave him the tPA, and when it didn't react the way it should, that is when they knew something else was wrong.

Steve's tumor was on the left, in a very difficult area. The surgery left him paralyzed on one side. She was also telling me that he had severe motion sickness, and had a great deal of problems just going to and from radiation treatments in the back of the ambulance. She also said he had an extreme reaction to the chemo pills, and refused to eat or drink because the chemo so effected his sense of taste. Steve, who was a thin man to begin with, lost 50 pounds in 3 weeks.

My heart went out to her when she lost Steve, but now, going through everything, I know first hand the kind of pain and helplessness she went through. Of course none of this is easy, but so far my Dad has been so lucky. God bless you Bobbie.

I will be seeing Dad tomorrow after work. I also want to thank you, Greg for your donation, and thank you for your kind words. It really gives me a sense of pride when I know others see how amazing my Dad is and for you to go that extra step to help out with the walk, I am very grateful.

Every night when I leave Dad, I always tell him to get a good night's sleep, and to have sweet dreams...So, sweet dreams Dad!

Love (and sweet dreams) to all!

Photos...As promised...

Today was a really nice day. I got some more stuff done around the house, and got to spend a few hours with Dad. I took him a slice of Costco pizza and a diet Coke...He was thrilled! I also gave him a pseudo manicure (cut and filed his nails, and massaged his hands with lotion), he loved it! Don't tell him I told you though...he would be embarrassed:).

My Mom and I showed up at the same time, and we were lucky enough to run into our friends Dennis and Maddie and their kids, on the way out from their visit with Dad. It was really good to see them. And Dad told us that my Aunt and Uncle came by this morning. All in all, I think he had a good day. He was in great spirits when Mom and I left around 7:30 or so. That is a little early for us to leave, but he was ready to rest.

My Mom brought the quilt with her so I could see it, and I took some photos to show you. It is just gorgeous! So thoughtful and touching...In a beautiful form, that we will have forever. It is so special...To all of us.

I hope you enjoy the shots of Dad and the quilt, and close-ups of the quilt squares. Thank you again Bonnie and Mike, Jay, Paula and John.

Have a great week everyone and don't forget, Dad's radiation will change to 10:00 a.m. starting tomorrow.

Love to all.

Overwhelming...

I got to spend several hours with Dad today. I always like the days when I can go during the day and it is just him and me. I always like the conversations we have. We talk a lot about things that go on in my life and his as well. We laugh, and we cry, and we laugh again. We tell new stories, we retell old ones...And just spend quality time together.

We were talking about traveling, and I told him that someday I would like to go to Alaska, most likely on a cruise. He said "well, when you go you need to go with a big group of people...It is just better that way..." And he closed his eyes, and started crying. I asked him what was wrong, he was just shaking quietly crying...Finally, he said "I wish there was more that I could do..." I asked what he meant, and he said "I wish I was in a place where I could send a whole group of you and your friends on a cruise to Alaska...And I can bet I would have more fun hearing all about it than anyone that went on the cruise." And he is probably right.

My Dad has always lived so vicariously through others, that it has never seemed like he has missed out on anything. His ability to take so much pleasure in other people's joy is incredible. I have learned a lot about myself during these past few months, and I have found that as many qualities, good and bad, that I take after my Dad, I still aspire to be the kind of humble, caring, kind, thoughtful, giving, strong, intelligent, determined, driven, person that he embodies. What a role model.

When my Mom got there today, our good friends the Helmantoler's were there. The Helmantoler's lived next door to us for the first 14 years of my life, and their sons Mike and John were the closest thing that I had to siblings growing up. When Mike and I were very young (we are only a few months apart), my Mom and Paula would each take a day during the week where they would watch both of us, while the other Mom got a day to herself...They called it "Queen for a Day." Mike and I have many memories growing up together...And then when John came around when we were 5, it was just like having my own stubborn, annoying baby brother...:) Love ya John! I think one of my personal favorite memories is that I used to be a bratty little kid (whoever just said "used to be???" You should be ashamed...;) and I would give Mike a smack and run home. Now, I could always run faster than him, and I always got a bit of a head start because he was always such a sweet guy, he would always be in shock a minute before he would be in hot pursuit. Well, my plan was always to get inside the house, and close and lock the door, and do the "nanny-nanny-boo-boo" face at him through the window. One day, I gave him a smack, and started running...Mike started after me, and I rounded the juniper, and headed down the home stretch of the front walk. Well, with Mike right behind me, I reached for the door knob, tried to turn it while still in full forward momentum...This momentum came to a very sudden halt as I crashed into the door full force because for the first time in forever...It was locked. I darn near knocked myself out. As I was shaking off the shock of hitting the door, I suddenly realized that I forgot what I had been running from, and looked feverishly around for Mike...Who was doubled over in laughter. I started laughing too when I realized the humor of the situation...And that he was not going to hit me back this time.:)

So, Paula and Jay, John, Mike, and Mike's wife Bonnie and youngest daughter Alyssa were there to visit Dad. Jay and Paula come often, and Mike and Bonnie had visited last weekend. Bonnie makes the most incredible quilts. She has a real talent for making the most amazing patterns, and uses the most beautiful fabrics. The ones I have had the pleasure of seeing over the years are really works of art. I guess after Mike and Bonnie left their visit last weekend, Bonnie had the idea to make Dad a quilt. So, for the past week, Bonnie (with Mike's help) has been working on a quilt, and they brought it to him today. I have not yet seen it, but I will describe it second hand from my Mom's description, and I will post photos when I can get them.

The quilt has the SDSU Aztec warrior, and it says "Dad always says "Azteca, Azteca, sis boom bah, Azteca, Azteca, rah-rah-rah." It also says "Ed's prayer quilt, July 2008" and a passage (I think it is from Matthew 17:20) "The power if prayer should never be underestimated! With faith, as great the size of a mustard seed we can move mountains!" And finally, the saying "Life is not measured by the breaths that we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." Most importantly, the quilt had knots. And each member of the family tied a knot.

I can't even begin to say how meaningful it is. The Helmantoler's have always been a very special part of our lives, but they really have been a port in a storm for my Mom and I over the past 2 months. They have not only been there for Dad, but have really gone above and beyond to help Mom and I in anyway possible. For example, Mike is in the medical field, and after reading some of our difficulties with the insurance company on the blog, he was on the phone to me with a list of suggestions and options he had brainstormed with his co-workers. Paula has sent both my Mom and I several cards, just because. The last one I got from her is sitting in my dining room, because it brings tears to my eyes every time I read it. Happy/sad/scared/loved tears. Someone at Hallmark must have gone through something similar, and wrote a card about it, and Paula found it and sent it to me...But it was her words that she wrote on the inside that were the most meaningful.

We are so lucky to have such special people in our lives...All of them...All of you. One thing I have learned from my Dad, is to be a good judge of character, and when you find those special people in life, never let them go. Hold them close, and be there for them when they need it, because you will eventually need them too. And now that we need them, they are here in droves. Thank you Dad.

Much love and respect.

TGIF

The close of another work week. And a full week at Magnolia, where I think my Dad is settling in well. He has gotten to the point where he will ask someone to give him his cigars, and he will wheel himself outside for a smoke. This drives my Mom crazy because she doesn't think he should smoke alone. She is afraid he might drop his cigar and catch himself on fire...I guess it is a possibility, but unlikely. I like that he is wheeling himself around though. That can help him with dexterity and hand eye coordination, and it gets his arms moving.

I didn't see him tonight, but I will be going in the morning. I am not sure if they started PT today or not, but if not, I am hoping they will start soon. Monday, his radiation changes to 10:00 in the morning. I hope that doesn't throw his schedule off too much. I really liked the idea of 3:00 because it allowed him to get up, have breakfast, have PT, have lunch, go to radiation, come back and have dinner. It kind of made it a full day for him. Now I fear that the afternoons will get awfully long if he is back from the bulk of his day by Noon. Hopefully, the PT will then take place in the afternoon.

Looking forward to spending time with Dad this weekend, and getting some chores done around the house. I am also looking forward to going to the Padre game on Saturday night...Go Pads!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Much love!